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Oozing Totz

“I Don’t Care” is a Lie

We put up a bold face and say, I don't care what people think about me... but is this truly true, isnt this a fence built too high against our vulnerability?

We put up a bold face and say, I don’t care what people think about me… but is this truly true, isnt this a fence built too high against our vulnerability?
“I Don’t Care” is a Lie
“I don’t care what people think about me.” I have lived with this idea longer than I have lived without it.
I lived with it and had a sweet romance with it. I had a mind fueled by “rebellion.” My “why” dwarfed my “how,” “what,” and “when”
I was a conventional non conformist. I would always do whatever suits my fancy. It didn’t have to make sense just because it made sense to every other Jacks and Robinsons.
My sentiment was also given muscles by social media heroes, people who motivate you to the peak by a simple punch of the keyboard and tickle of the emojis.
These social media smart asses be like:
“it’s your life, don’t let others dictate how to live it”
“Their opinions don’t count, just do you”
“Whether they like you or not you have to rock on”
“Live life regardless of who’s gutted”
la la la la… all of those things.
All those sentiments are empowering and cocky but won’t cut it a reality party. I’m a veteran of “rebellion.” I’m a retired non conformist, so I know that shiii is not lit.
For instance I wanted to dress as I want, so I went to class in a sleeveless wear. The teacher saw me but didn’t belch. It was when I had an issue that the teacher revealed what he taught of me. “People like you don’t go far” those were his words.
I’m attracted to Muslim girls, the ones that cover up and all. So I took a pass at Lateefat that year, she looked at me up and down, smiled and said “Sheriff you’re not a Muslim”
I knew she knew I was a Muslim but what she meant was that I didn’t look it, and I didn’t act it.
She judged the book by the cover. Maybe not wrongfully, because I might have judged a couple books by their covers too.
The girl that dresses “immodestly” the guy that drew tattoos, and all other stuff that don’t fit into my own definition of ‘good’ were all labelled bad.
So yeah, judgmental sentiments and hasty conclusions are bad but they roam in the air we breathe.
Which is why I believe ‘people do care what people think about them’ they just like to put up a bold hypocritical front.
The business owner has to care what his customer thinks.
The employee has to care what his employer thinks
Same way for the boyfriend and his girlfriend, the child and his parent, the school kid and the teacher, the artist and fans, the pastor and the congregation, theΒ  contractor and his client, even the gangster doesn’t want to be seen as a snitch.
An individual person’s live is a microcosm of the larger society so it’s hypocritical to say I don’t care what others think about me.
I’d rather say, people’s opinion play a part in my decision making but I’m always conscious to preserve the sanity and sanctity of “self”
Every man is entitled to his opinion. His opinion doesn’t really affect you unless he pays your salary, your bills, or his action or inaction affect you emotionally.
This is my opinion, and it doesn’t have to make sense to you. After all, I don’t pay your billsΒ πŸ˜‚πŸ€£
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