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Oozing Totz

Moms are Annoying, Especially Mine

Moms know exactly how to frustrate the hell out of you, especially my mom. You think your mom was tough, please meet my mum!

Moms know exactly how to frustrate the hell out of you, especially my mom. You think your mom was tough, please meet my moms!
Moms are Annoying, Especially Mine
Moms can be very annoying, especially mine! She can complain and correct for Africa: “Don’t go that way,” “Don’t act that way,” “Fola, everything is for your sake. You will be someone’s husband and some people’s father someday” …and all that blah blah. She’s a woman so I wondered who taught her how to be a man.
She always wants me to “do it right”  The woman has a complete volume of “how to frustrate a boy child” in her head.
So, you can imagine my relief in August 1996 when we went to the home town for Eid and she agreed to Grandma’s request to let stay.
Awwww, so much joy! Grandma is bae! The way she spoilt me whenever we visit, oh my, if you are me, you’d wanna live with her forever. Maami was always up in my nose with goodies and freebies. Now, I liked that kind of choking.
Maami got me with the panegyrics too. Anytime she goes “Ajala nle, omo alade…” on me, I know for sure that my head is in for the swell. So yeah, the groove of staying with her let loose bubbles in my heart.
After all the festivities and the dust settled. When everyone had gone back to their bases. It dawned on me that Mecca is not always crowdy. Alas, everything na scam. The two witches set me up.
Maami took off from where my mom stopped. Albeit even tougher! With my mom, I didn’t have to do chores, I could roam the street and come back to feast at night, but Grandma, eh she was indeed grand! She is what mom would always dream of becoming but never would. Her level of discipline is top notch. I wonder if she had once been in the military.
Maami won’t starve me. No, in fact whenever I finish eating and Grandma asks if I want more, I immediately know I’m in trouble.
Short story made long, I’m now grown and all, these two women still beat me. Ha, no… They dropped their canes long ago. They now use their tongues. I often ask myself, can I ever be free from these women?
To be honest with you, I don’t ever wanna be free from them. They’re my compass and guide. Not bragging but they raised a perfect gentle man.
If I am to choose a million times, I’ll always choose my mum, and her mother. Those two girls are my angels. Hutus and friends were learning from my rebellion, but these women cooked me raw and redefined me.
Mothers can be a boil on your ass. They can kick your guts, take away your free time, let you miss out on all those stuff you think is fun, but it’s because they know better.
Think about it, do they really have to care if they don’t love you? They love you and  will always want you to turn out the best.
I just got me a nice T-Shirt and the prints on it say “Mama’s Boy.” That’s some sweet label that I’m proud to wear!
I’m lucky to still have my two mums around. If you also do, please appreciate her not only her, but all the people that have momed you. Appreciate before it gets too late.
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