Ever wondered what it feels like to be caught in a web with a pervert Lecturer who wants to lay you at all cost or you risk an ‘F’? Oyegbade Abbey narrates.
My Lecturer Wants to Fvck me, But…
There was this particular lecturer in my department when I was still in school. We all knew him to be a womanizer. He liked all kinds of women, young, old, fat, thin, tall, and short. Every girl in the department tried as much as possible not to get noticed by him. That means doing your assignment with others and coming to his classes on time so you don’t have to beg him to enter his class.
One day, (I am sure it was because I didn’t pray that morning, it gave the devil the opportunity to deal with me.) It started with waking up late for classes that day. When I realised that it was this lecturer’s class we had, I just decided that I would miss the class. Only for my friend toping me that they were registering the man’s course. I quickly dressed up wore my deeper life gown, even white powder I didn’t rub that day and ran to class.
By the time I got to the department, the man had already locked the door and took attendance. That was when I knew my village people swore for me that day. I waited until he finished teaching and joined the other latecomers to go to his office to beg him. Did I tell you that our lecturers each had their own office? Well furnished o! This particular lecturer even had extra seats and curtains. Maybe he normally held prayer sections in his office, who knows? I had already finished planning the lie I will tell the man, how I was very sick and just came from the school medical centre. Am sure God was just watching me and my plans. (I already started with not praying now am about lie).
We reached the man’s office and started begging him to please just let us register the course even if we will miss the attendance. The man acted like we were asking Buhari to legalize gay marriage. I made sure I was very invincible in the back of the crowd.
The next thing I heard was “hey you at the back on glasses, come here” Shoo!
I joined others to turn to see who he was talking to even though I knew that it was the wall I was turning to look at. One over-sabi girl just shouted my name
“Chidinma, he is talking to you o”
I just used my eyes to dissect the girl. I came closer and he gave me money and some paper to photocopy for him. In my mind, I was hoping that he will allow me to register after going for the errands.I ran better than Usain Bolt that day, did the photocopy and came back.
As I was getting closer to his office I noticed that my classmates were no longer there. I became sacred.I quietly knocked on his door and he asked me to come in. as I stepped in he asked me to close the door. Ah! Close door ke? I just murmured the devil is a liar. I banged the door but made sure it wasn’t locked. I moved closer to him and gave him the documents. He now asked me my name I quickly shouted the name my grandma gave me (I normally get angry when my siblings called me the name)
“Sir, my name is Erinma”
The next thing he asked me was “So who is eating this Bush meat you carrying around?”
I quickly checked if I had mistakenly carried someone’s Bush meat when I went to do photocopy only to see I was carrying only my bag.
“Sir, it’s just my handbag am carrying o; there is no Bush meat here”
“So you don’t know what I mean? You are trying to form abi?
“No sir I honestly don’t know.”
“Ok, then, who is enjoying this bushmeat you are carrying in front of you. Which of the guys?”
Oh! He was talking about breasties. I suddenly became dumb. And started calling on my ancestors and God at the same time to give me the wisdom he gave Solomon in the bible so I can I get out of this situation.
“Sir nobody o”
“Hmm, so when will you give me to enjoy?”
In my mind, I was calculating my fainting skills in cases anything happened.
I suddenly became a stammerer. I was seriously praying and promising God to even becomes reverend sister if I can get out from here. It was like God or my ancestors’ sef saw that I had suffered enough and decided to intervene. He then asked me “where are you from”
“Enugu” I replied
“Where in Enugu?”
“Ah! Ezeagu, I heard they do juju very well”
I shouted “Yes sir o! they are very good at it. In fact, both my paternal and maternal grandparents are well known native doctors in the village. Even my dad was also one but recently converted.”
See the lies jumping from my mouth like I was reciting the National Anthem.
“Hmmm, serious?” he asked looking almost sacred
“Yes sir, you can ask around” I replied.
He immediately brought out the registration booklet and told me to find my name and sign across it and leave his office I quickly took the book, signed my name and ran away. Since then the man doesn’t even answer my greeting and I made sure I escaped his wahala till I graduated.
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