Picture Problem (A Police Story)
I shared the picture below on facebook exactly one year ago and it marked my fiercest encounter with the Nigerian police.
I posted the picture with a simple caption; “Let’s broadcast his picture till the IG see it” The post got many likes and comments. It felt like I did right because many people agreed with me and condemned the man but you know there’s always that one different person; the different one was a my high school classmate. She said something like “While sharing the picture, consider his family and the shame this can bring on them” and I replied with “He should have thought of that before taking bribes”
Four days later, I got a message in my facebook box from one Sergent XXL. “You’re under arrest” the message read. I just replied with “lol.” Honestly, I found it funny. It stopped getting funny when two police officers appeared at my door two days later waiving their badges.
“Do you have a warrant?” I asked like they do in those foreign movies. The reply I got reminded me very much that I was a Nigerian in Nigeria; it was a very hot slap. I thought I was dead until another slap retrieved my consciousness. I was in their van already.
I looked up and saw one of the officers looking down at me with a wicked grin. “Na you sabi post picture for internet bah? Na die you dey today idiot” His name read “Olorunfemi S S.” I eyed the name crest and wondered what the S S meant. I finally concluded his name was a sentence; “Olorunfemi but I Serve Satan”
I didn’t know how the conclusion found its way to my lips but sure didn’t need telling that I was a Southampton in the hand of this Leicester of a policeman. Sgt Olorunfemi narrowed his red picky eyes, wore a scary look and picked his rifle. He cocked it and bam, He pulled the trigger!
I woke up and found myself sweating. I thanked God it was just a dream and decided to tell another false story.